As the population ages, more caregivers are stepping up to meet the growing needs of aging adults. If you are one who cares for them — or might soon — you’re not alone.
More than 63 million adults in the United States (about 18% of the population) provide ongoing care for aging parents, spouses with chronic conditions or adult children with disabilities and serious illnesses — a staggering 45% increase since 2015.1
Nearly one-third of all caregivers are in the “sandwich generation,” caring for an adult while they also have a child under 18 at home. Even more caregivers under age 50 (47%) are in this dual challenging role.1
Caregiving can encompass everything from grocery shopping and preparing meals to managing medications and doctor appointments. And so much more.
Support options
Thankfully, there are many avenues of care support available, so you don’t have to do this alone.
Home care: If your loved one lives with you or on their own, you could hire a home caregiver to help with daily living activities, like grocery shopping, meal prep, light housekeeping, grooming and personal care. The median cost for these services is $33 per hour.2
Home health care: This type of care differs from home care in that it’s provided by trained medical professionals, such as a nurse or a physical therapist, and must be ordered by a physician. Because it’s prescribed by a doctor, Medicare, Medicaid and private health insurance plans may cover some of the costs.
Long-term care options: Assisted living, memory care and nursing home are more expensive options and most are not covered by Medicare, so it is important to make plans well ahead of time.
Make plans sooner rather than later
Encourage your parents or older relative to make financial plans for their care needs before it’s needed and explore ways to offset costs. For example, is your parent eligible for veteran benefits? Also, encourage them to discuss their finances so you’re not left in the dark about how their care will be paid for.
Some questions to ask include:
- What’s the status of their retirement and investment accounts?
- Do they have life or long-term care insurance?
- Where do they keep their legal documents?
- Do they have a financial professional?
Another option is for a family member to get paid to provide care for a loved one. Certain government programs pay a family member who provides care to their veteran or disabled relative. Also, some long-term care insurance coverage allows family members to get paid as caregivers.3
Be observant and ask questions
Sometimes it’s apparent when your loved one starts needing more care, especially if they have physical health limitations. Other times, it’s not. It’s likely your parents won’t come out and say, “please help me” when they start needing more care or are unable to complete everyday tasks. It’s up to you — and other family members — to help them determine if help is needed.
You can start by asking questions:
- Are you able to run errands?
- How are you managing meal preparation and laundry?
- What in life has gotten more difficult for you?
- What can I do to help?
Also observe behaviors:
- What is the condition of their home?
- Are they showering and dressing regularly?
- Are they taking medications as prescribed?
Be their advocate
Clear and open communication will help you learn what your parents need and want. Then you can communicate these things to their care team and anyone else who plays an active role in their life.
Being an advocate comes with a lot of paperwork and planning, both of which can be hard to manage. Consider using a caregiving app to manage medication and schedule appointments. And make digital copies of key documents such as medication lists and living wills.
For meetings with medical professionals and other providers, be prepared by doing your research ahead of time and having a list of questions. When speaking up for your loved one, be sure to also listen carefully to who you’re seeking answers from. And if you don’t understand something, ask for clarification. Building a good relationship with your loved one’s care team and having a positive mindset can go a long way.
Collaborate with siblings to manage care
Managing the care of an elderly parent is stressful. Try not to do it alone. If you have siblings, work with them to make the load lighter. Play to each person’s strengths. One sibling might be good at managing finances and scheduling appointments while the other be good at checking in with regular phone calls and making sure they’re taking their medications.
When it becomes clear that an aging parent needs more focused attention, it’s natural for one sibling to take the lead. That’s perfectly fine; however, that doesn’t let the others off the hook even if they live far away. Technology has made it easy to manage task remotely, like ordering groceries, paying bills and managing finances online.
It’s almost inevitable that siblings who are juggling various caregiving tasks and responsibilities might feel some tension toward each other. Communicating and clearing the air can ease the tension between a local and a long-distance caregiver. That’s important to do so that the siblings can develop mutual empathy for each other.
Having empathy for your aging parent, for other family members, and for yourself will lead to better care all around.
That means at the end of the day (or the beginning), it’s imperative that you carve out time for yourself to meditate, exercise, read or do whatever fills your cup. You’ll notice a difference in yourself and so will your loved ones.
